HELLO MEMORY
I SEE YOU ARE HERE AGIAN
HERE IN MY HEAD
HAUNTING ME
JUST WHEN I THOUGHT
I GOT YOU TO LEAVE
HELLO HANDSOME
YOU ARE LOOKING GOOD
LOOKING SO GOOD
WHILE YOU ARE NOT LOOKING AT ME
DONT THINK I WANT YOU
I DONT HINK I WANT YOU
HELLO STRANGER
HAVEN'T SEE YOU AROUND HERE
FOR A LONG LONG TIME
WONT YOU COME BACK
WONT YOU COME BACK TO ME
HELLO BAD BOY
I DONT WANT YOU
NO MATTER WHAT MY MIND SAYS
NO GOOD
FOR ME
THATS WHAT YOU ARE
HELLO TROUBLE MAKER
I WAS HAPPY
UNTIL THIS STARTED
UNTIL YOU STARTED
IGNORING ME
HELLO HEART BREAKER
YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE
EVEN IF YOU DONT THINK SO
YOU CANT LIE TO MY HEART
I KEEP SA
The pain is so new
I just dont know what to do
I came to you
I trusted you
You let me down
How could you
Let me down
Forever
You said forever
Its nothing new
Your nothing new
I thought so wrong
It has been too long
Since I felt this pain
But its nothing new
You are nothing new
I'm not afraid of anyting
At least thats what I use to think
But I'm not so sure anymore
The world is so unknown
And I feel so alone
And it hurts to think
That you might be fake
It seems so much has changed
You are not who you use to be
So I lay broken and brused
And all used up
Cold and naked on the floor
And I know I am afraid
Of not being able to be me
And I am afraid
The pieces of my heart
Wont go back together
Once you leave.
You are perfect
As you can be
Always finding
Away to please me
Going slow
Going fast
Whatever will help
Make this last
I love you
This is so
Completely ture
A love so pure
I wasnt sure
That it was real
Its something
I thought
I would never feel
Reminds me
Of conton candy
Sugar sweet
And the best treat
I cant say it
Too many times
Just like i cant
Make this poem rhyme
But i love you
I love everything
The softness of your back
The feel of your lips
The way you dream
Your smile
And you luagh
To touch you
Brings me joy
To be with you
Brings happiness
Nothing about you
Brings pain
I love you
And i will lov
Have you ever had
Anything so perfect
That if it got
Any better you knew
It would break
But life proved you wrong
It got better
And still
Stayed together?
Have you ever reached
That perfect moment
Where nothing could go wrong
Time stood still
Too perfect
To breathe
Where you promised
You would never leave
Every moment i spend with you
Is perfect everytime
I touch you your skin
I cant believe
How lucky i am
To have you at all
Your an unbelieveable wonder
I am in awe
Evertime i speak with you
Amazed by how perfect
You are and how
Much
I love you.
I have never writen a poem for anyone
But myself
No concentration or premeditation
Jus t words flowing from the ink of my pen
But now as I sit here trying to think of a gift for you
I ponder this
Writing a poem for you.
I need to wite some words
but they cant escape
I put pen to paper
But its all thrown back into my face
Nothings coming out
Im not even sure
I know what it is about
Maybe it is nothing
Maybe I am nothing.
I sit here alone
In my quite place
In my unreachable place
No pain comes inside
No more fears
To hide from
Just quite
But silence is deadly
If this is true
I will learn the hard way
Alone I feel safe
Alone in my quite place
No screams haunting me
No more demons taunting me
Just silence and quite
Just how I like it.
Everyone nds their head
And says they get it.
I promise you
You don't understand
How if feels
To never trust a man.
To be battered and brusied
since you could walk.
To be denie and rejected
Since you coould talk.
To see your mother give up hope
For her to stop wanting to cope.
Walk into your house and see her dead
and then let me see ou nod your head.
Fantasies are like fairies
With giant green wings.
You can never tell
If they are real life
Or just images that flashed
In your minds eye.
So ere is some advice.
Give them up,
Pass them along,
You have no time
To totter along
Like a child in a land
Full of trees
Mistaking fairies for leaves.
Who is this girl inside?
Why must I make her hide?
Outside I laugh and giggle
Masking the truth
With a smile,
And all the while
Inside I cry.
I can’t explain why I try to hide
From the world around me,
Who I truly am inside.
I listen to the others
And not to my heart,
I do there biding
And my world falls apart.
The choices I make
Hurt inside.
The presser is too great,
I cannot withstand
Their petty judgments
And their plans.
So I go along with the crowd,
I become one
Of the many clowns
To lose their face
In this place
Where happiness
Exist only in dreams
And the real world
Seems so mean.
As the darkness
Sinks in,
The evil begins to win,
And once again
I miss you.
Red as a rose,
White as snow,
Images flash
In my eye
As I remember
I don't want to die.
As the metal hits my skin
I remember my family.
The pain will hit,
The tear they will shed
When I am finally dead.
I try to run,
I try to hide,
But it always finds a way inside.
Death would come easy
How nice it would be
To close my eyes tonight
And look for the light.
No one would miss me
I would grow cold in my bed.
This is what I am thinking
These wicked thoughts in my head.
Can’t understand what wrong with me,
Why I want these dreams to be fed
And then I sit here and dread
Maybe it is all in my head.
As the night creeps
Around me
And the clock ticks on,
Thoughts sneak up on me
And I feel alone.
Nobody understands
The girl inside,
They all stare and laugh,
Or look in pity
At this stranger
In their midst.
If they could have accepted her
They could have shared
In her riches,
In her fame,
No more looks of pity,
None of shame.
As her stardom grows
And the clock ticks on,
Slowly the dream runs out
And she is stripped from
This world,
Her world,
Her wish,
My dream.
Something special,
Something sweet,
Individual
And unique.
Just a number,
Just a stat,
One of many
That is that.
First is what I was
Second is what to be.
Once a lover
Now a number
That is what you make of me.
I sit in this graveyard
The one place I feel at peace.
My mind escaping it all
No longer bothered by you.
Here by this gravestone
I finally feel safe
Were no longer yelling
No tears run down my face.
In the cemetery
I feel at home
Maybe this is
Where I belong.
I walk
As the summer breeze
Blows by me
And I read the names.
All the comments
Are the same.
Wonderful Mother,
Daddy’s Little Girl,
Loving Father.
And all this makes me wonder
Why I even play this game.
I walk between their graves
And try to guess
What their lives were about.
Who they were,
And why they’re
No longer around.
And then I realize
That all are lives
Will be a line
A few centimeters long
When we are gone.
I don't understand this change.
We were so close
I wanted to be with you forever.
Now six months later
I look at you are not the same.
I want to scream at you.
Why did you change?
You were so perfect before
Now I don't know who you are.
All of this makes my heartbreak
And my body shake.
As you tease me
And say I was bad,
As you hurt me
And make me mad,
I am really crying inside
Even though you think
I am laughing along.
You are different.
This is not you.
At least it is not
The you I knew.
I wish I could hit you,
Give you a good smack.
Make you realize
What you've become,
And what you've done,
And make you come
Am I a ghost?
Am I your dream?
You'll walk through me
and I'll disappear.
I am your toy,
your faithless sneak,
born now in fire
to burn so weak.
I'll eat the food
and lap the dish
that has been shared
by brutish lips.
Am I a ghost?
Is this a dream?
I'll walk through you
and disappear.
The math of time
has a way
of haunting me
from day to day,
but it teaches me
number's design,
and I know your sum
is more than mine.
I swing endlessly
in thoughts of you,
from loving you
to hating you,
and i cant help
feeling this way,
like trying to catch
each drop of rain
that's falling on our heads.
We both see one of the answ
I may not be pretty, but I can act pretty....
...Slutty for you.
I may not have a body, but I can fuck like I have one...
I may not have nails to scratch you with... but I sure as hell can bite..
I may not be the girl of your dreams, but I can be for the hour we are together.
I may not be what you want... but you are what I want for the time being.
Pushing boundries,
falling foreward,
smiling just the same.
I'm always laughing
every time
I catch onto your game.
Rolling eyes
always search
catching every hint.
Tipped ears heard
the words you said
and every one you didn't.
Seizing the cure
I stumble past
all the demons I've surpassed.
There's something here,
something new,
something not involving you.
I found a piece
of my mind
I thought I left too far behind.
Only sleeping,
infant dreaming,
screaming "One more chance!".
I'll save you
from holy fire
but this is our last dance.
No regrets,
no remorse,
not even one last kiss.
I want you
to always know
you're t
catholic faith, american pride, marital vows, the perfect bride,
fallin' in love, trust in man, someday you'll understand
blood runs deep, equal rights, follow me you're safe tonight,
plastic smile, her tear filled eyes
all of these are fucking lies
knight in shining armour, karma,
dishonor, heaven and hell and nirvana
promises, protect and serve, believe in me,
you have my word
A.D.D., covering up assassinations beginners luck,
brotherly love, caucasian christ
all of these are fucking lies
Used, Used,
And emotionally abused,
Old lovers,
New lovers,
New face,
Same case.
Love and hate,
Which to demonstrate,
To you,
To me,
Drown in a sea.
A sea of tears,
A sea of fears,
Breakdown,
Step then fall,
Known to all.
Lied to,
Cried on,
What's the difference?
You cry,
I cry,
You live,
I die,
Inside.
Abused and cold,
Scared and bold,
Lifted,
Dropped,
With many burdens on top,
Yours added.
Used, Used,
And mentally abused.
Face me
Face my fears
(face your fears)
Take a look around
Another one home bound
Tied down
Wanted to get away
(wanted to get away from you)
Didn't want to put up with the stuff that you say
Right now
Left here in solitude
You say I have a bad attitude
What do you expect
(The perfect one)
You said you'd rather have a son
Why pin all your problems on me
I have enough and it's about time
I tell you so
My patience used to be ok but now its so low
(You always complained what do you expect?)
I gave you opportunities
You threw them back in my face
How's it taste
To have all the *h*t
Pushed back down your throat
Where it be
Let me find the cure 'Let by sweetlildevil, literature
Literature
Let me find the cure 'Let
Everything you do; everything you say,
Makes me regret every day,
Take a knife and slit my throat,
Isn't it what you want?
You've drove me to a part of my past,
Where I can't come back,
I can't figure you out,
(Just let go)
Im wasting my life away,
Your somebody, A nobody,
I can't escape you,
You saved me,
Now you are forcing me to die,
Slowly,
(Just let go)
Inject the pain you call love,
Let it course through my veins,
Destroy me faster please,
Don't leave,
Your like a disease,
Im not sure how much I can endure,
Put a gun to my head,
Pull the trigger,
(Just let go)
Let me lose control,
Let me find the cure,
What do
Who is this girl inside?
Why must I make her hide?
Outside I laugh and giggle
Masking the truth
With a smile,
And all the while
Inside I cry.
I can’t explain why I try to hide
From the world around me,
Who I truly am inside.
I listen to the others
And not to my heart,
I do there biding
And my world falls apart.
The choices I make
Hurt inside.
The presser is too great,
I cannot withstand
Their petty judgments
And their plans.
So I go along with the crowd,
I become one
Of the many clowns
To lose their face
In this place
Where happiness
Exist only in dreams
And the real world
Seems so mean.
Current Residence: Ohio Favourite genre of music: Rock, Punk Favourite cartoon character: Rouge Personal Quote: Hate is only the result of wounded love
Favourite Movies
Sixteen Candles
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Metallica, Adema, Luncana Coil
Favourite Writers
Ameila Atwater-Rhodes, Emily Dickinson
Tools of the Trade
Pen Paper and a Bad Mood
Other Interests
Writing poetry, Reading, sleeping, dance, hanging with friends, Jeff hehe
I think I am going insane. To explain this you need to know one thing about me, I have never been at anytime in my life an extremly religious person even though I still believe a christian catholic/ protestant (10 and younger) faith.
about two weeks ago i went to CHWC which stands for Catholic Heart Work Camp. You go to diffrent places in the US and world and they put you in a group and assign you to a place to work. Its all about service. Well one of the things you do when your not working is 4 corners. It is on the second to last night and is an emotional thing. I was sitting along during for corners on the floor away from everything cryin
why can't people just say what they mean. What is up with secrcy? if u like someone say it. if you hate someone say it. if you want somone/something get. if you have something to say say it. you only have one life why not live it.
My grandma drives me insane!!!